On the whole, people who go about sex in a way we call goal-oriented, or product-oriented, not only tend to orgasm less often, they tend to feel less satisfied with sex and their sex lives. People who tend to be more process-oriented in the sex they have, with partners and on their own in masturbation, tend to be more orgasmic and also tend to feel more satisfied.
this article right here, a gem that I stumbled onto by accident. It’s lengthy, but contains a lovely fire analogy and is a great look at why “goal-oriented” [read: orgasm-oriented] sex and masturbation are largely counterproductive, and why it’s better to just chill out and enjoy yourself. (via hellyeahsexpositive)